Look in the Mirror and say “You’re Beautiful”

This past Saturday was supposed to be my celebration for my 20 lb weight loss, however I was 8 oz, yes OUNCES, away from hitting that goal.  BUT…I celebrated anyway 🙂  I already made the plans and figured I still deserved to celebrate my weight loss, period.  And we had a blast doing it!  Got a little sunburnt, but overall, had such a great time. 

We headed up to Lake Livingston where my aunt and her boyfriend have a condo RIGHT ON THE LAKE. haha  I get excited about it, because nothing excites me more than being ON the water!  I LOVE the water…lake, pool, river, ocean, waterpark…whatever and however I can get the water…I LOVE IT.  I chose to celebrate on the water…and jet skis…because it was a much healthier option than awarding myself with food, right.  Even though…we definitely blew our diets that day. haha  We didn’t drink not one lick of alcohol though…so that helped, right!?! 🙂  I was such in a great mood headed up there, that I had to stand outside of my husband’s sunroof…he wasn’t too happy about it.  But just something about me felt like I was free!

Here’s Nick inside the car…I’m above it…well, half my body:

Nick in car

The open road, via the sun roof….now doesn’t this just scream to hang out of the sunroof?!

sunroof

And here’s my shot of the wind through my hair.  Not a model’s picture by any means, but it cracks me up so I had to share:

Me out of Sunroof

I wanted to get a picture of me on the jet ski for you guys, but there were alot of other people there so I didn’t want to be super cheesy in front of strangers. haha  After playing in the water all day, we sat out on the pier, where their spot perfectly sits for the sunset.  Here’s Nick and I enjoying the sunset:

Nick and I Sunset Livingston 7-6-13

And me…after a long day on the lake.  Disclaimer – I look at these pictures and I don’t see “pretty”.  I know Nick and my mom are going to kill me for saying this but I’m putting it out there because I’m trying to remind everyone that we’re not perfect…some days are better than others.  I know that I’ve already started the most important thing for my transformation, but my mind still has some catching up to do.  I do pray that one day I look at myself in the mirror and say, WOW BRITT…YOU GO GIRL! haha

Me Livingston 7-6-13

I watched another episode of Extreme Weightloss.  Do you watch it?  WOW!  EVERY SINGLE episode gets me.  This week’s episode really got me though.  This girl grew up feeling unloved by her adopted mother, so instead of taking it out on the mom, she took it out on her ownself.  And the heavier she got, the uglier she felt and truly believed she was.  She kept saying she was worthless and why does she deserve the help.  That hit home for me because I often feel like that.  When I get down about how far I’ve let my body go, I think the same things…I’m disgusting, I’m worthless, I’m ugly, nobody wants to be my friend, friends and family are ashamed of me, etc.  Unfortunately, those thoughts are VERY real.  I wanted to reach through the TV and give her the biggest hug because she should have NEVER taken on that guilt of her unnurturing adopted mother.  She didn’t deserve the “abuse”.  And she didn’t deserve to take it out on her body and let herself go.  She IS worth it!  She does deserve to smile!  That just reminded me that…I need to keep telling MY OWN SELF that!  It’s always been a struggle for me to give myself positive affirmations.  My mom use to make me look in the mirror and tell myself I’m beautiful.  I HATED IT…felt like it was more of a punishment.  I truly did not believe I was beautiful.  My mom wasn’t and still isn’t perfect, but I look back at that and think…she was truly trying to mold the way I think about myself.  And for that…Thank you Mom.  I pray I learn from you and love my future daughter so much that she believes she’s beautiful and that I teach her how to love herself.  I do have to joke for a second though…my brother…he got ALL of the confidence. haha He LOVES taking pictures of himself and talking about his body. haha  I will admit..he IS gorgeous!  So Trey…give me some of that back, I need that confidence!

After all of this though…I can officially say I’m a 20 POUNDER!  Meaning…I have officially LOST 20 lbs.  I got on the scale this morning and man…it felt so good to see 172!  NOT, 192…inching to 200.  I admitted to Barb the other night though, that it’s hard for me to imagine myself another 20 lbs gone in the future because in the past, I’ve lost weight till about this point and then felt better…so I stopped eating better and exercising…only to find myself back in the 190’s, pushing 200 again.  But I told her that on purpose…so that she can continue to hold me accountable so that I won’t give up.  I’m not ready to give up though!  I’m looking forward to the day I can put a 2 piece bikini on and feel good about it.  Hey you skinny girls…do you ever feel GOOD in your bikini?  Proud of your body/hard work , if it takes any?  If not…I pray that I can alter my thinking before I get there, so that I can truly be proud of myself and love myself enough to say “You’re Beautiful.”

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