Is My Smile Too Big?

I’m not sure I can smile anymore right now!  Well, I’m sure I could at other awesome news, but right now, I am so stinking excited and happy!  Today, I am wearing a skirt that I haven’t worn since before Nick and I STARTED DATING….that was 6 years ago.  Sure, alot of people I know can still wear the same clothes today that they did 6 years ago, but for me…it’s an accomplishment from the downhill I started to go down 6 years ago. 

I was looking for something to wear and this was always a skirt I kept because I use to love it (it’s not so much in style anymore haha) and had a goal to be able to wear it again someday.  So I put it on this morning without even believing I could actually button it.  TO MY SURPRISE…IT FIT!  And my stomach isn’t even hanging over! haha  So, needless to say, not sure I can smile even bigger right now.

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One thing I can say…and don’t get me wrong, I’m celebrating how far I’ve come, but I can’t wait to get in the single digits again and to GIVE THIS SKIRT AWAY!

We will finally fulfill Barb’s homework assignment this Friday, that she gave to us a few weeks ago.  I bought a new cute summer dress this past weekend and we are going to a small country bar in Cypress…to go dancing!  Our goal is to stay at least an hour.  There’s live music so I know we’ll enjoy that but of course, we don’t know anyone in Cypress really, to go with us, so we’ll be going to the bar by ourselves.  Not a whole lot of fun! haha  But we’re going to make the best of it and have some fun, just us 2.  Pray for Nick that I don’t try to LEAD HIM on the dance floor!  Pics will follow later.

And this Saturday is Nick’s 20th weightloss celebration!  We’re celebrating with friends and family at Moody Garden’s Palm Beach.  Even rented a cabana.  Looking forward to it!  Pics to come from that, as well!

Frumpy McGee Today!

Today…I feel FRUMPY!  The outfit that I’m wearing today is too big.  I should be rejoicing right?!  However, I’m in a grumpy mood (just ask the poor innocent victim…my husband) and feel like I don’t deserve new clothes yet so I refuse to go buy anything.  And when I do put some clothes on that are tighter feeling, I think they look bad and I’m not at the fit point to where I can wear them yet.  Hence…the undeserving of new clothes.  My trainer, Barb, gave us homework last week.  First off, I’ve NEVER been good at doing my homework (granted, in my old age, I want to do better).  The homework was to get ourselves a new outfit and go out dancing.  We still haven’t done it.  Nick has plenty of smaller clothes that he hasn’t worn since we got married so he’s already having a ball pulling out the old stuff.  By the way…I have to add…he is looking SO good.  I’m really seeing the slim down in him.  Anyways, but I don’t have many old clothes I can resort to for the time being.  So I am just wearing my larger clothes until they literally fall off…which they haven’t done so yet.  I do want to go dancing but I’m dreading finding something new to wear.  Any ideas?  I know I can go to Target or Old Navy and find plenty of cute inexpensive clothes there..but I’m just dreading going shopping for anything new right now.

And is it possible to lose weight in your feet?  I swear my shoes are becoming flip flops now, like my heels and wedges I wear for work.  I almost tripped the other day because one flip flopped so much on me.  I think it’s time for new shoes too!  My husband probably won’t believe me, so that’s why I’m coming to the blog world to make sure it’s not just in my head and to have someone else agree so HE’LL agree to get me some new shoes 🙂 hehe

Another “new” thing we added to our cardio is the Stair Master.  It use to be like a mountain I thought I may not climb for a while but Barb put me on it about a week ago, for 5 minutes and I was pretty tired. haha  So this week, Nick did it for 20…no, 21 (HAVE to add that 1 in there) minutes.  And I did it for 10 and then went and ran.  The Stair Master has become a new desire in our family! haha 

Oh and we’re also really loving abs right now.  I feel like the more abs I do, the flatter my stomach will get and the less flabby I’ll be when I lose all the weight.

I told someone yesterday that I lost 20 lbs and may have 40 more to go.  Keep in mind, I’m still not sure what my goal weight will be because I don’t know what I’ll look like at say 130.  I may get above that and think I look great and I don’t need to keep losing.  Who knows.  But she was surprised I said I still have that much to probably lose.  Kind of made me feel good that not everyone sees me as this big fat slob.

I’m not sure if I added…but Nick is working out with me and Barb now as well.  And I love it!  It gives us more time to be together and keeps BOTH of us working out.  Doing this new lifestyle TOGETHER means the world to me.  I know I’m lucky because I know there are plenty of couples out there that don’t have the support system of their spouse/significant other.  And if that’s you…keep reminding yourself to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and he/she may/will follow later.  But just worry about yourself and I promise, all else will fall into place.  I had to learn that with marriage 🙂

One last report to you guys…I have started to get a little more comfortable with wearing sleeveless shirts lately.  Check out this pic at my friend’s shower this past Sunday.  No my arms aren’t RIPPED YET but I’m starting to feel more comfortable.

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Look in the Mirror and say “You’re Beautiful”

This past Saturday was supposed to be my celebration for my 20 lb weight loss, however I was 8 oz, yes OUNCES, away from hitting that goal.  BUT…I celebrated anyway 🙂  I already made the plans and figured I still deserved to celebrate my weight loss, period.  And we had a blast doing it!  Got a little sunburnt, but overall, had such a great time. 

We headed up to Lake Livingston where my aunt and her boyfriend have a condo RIGHT ON THE LAKE. haha  I get excited about it, because nothing excites me more than being ON the water!  I LOVE the water…lake, pool, river, ocean, waterpark…whatever and however I can get the water…I LOVE IT.  I chose to celebrate on the water…and jet skis…because it was a much healthier option than awarding myself with food, right.  Even though…we definitely blew our diets that day. haha  We didn’t drink not one lick of alcohol though…so that helped, right!?! 🙂  I was such in a great mood headed up there, that I had to stand outside of my husband’s sunroof…he wasn’t too happy about it.  But just something about me felt like I was free!

Here’s Nick inside the car…I’m above it…well, half my body:

Nick in car

The open road, via the sun roof….now doesn’t this just scream to hang out of the sunroof?!

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And here’s my shot of the wind through my hair.  Not a model’s picture by any means, but it cracks me up so I had to share:

Me out of Sunroof

I wanted to get a picture of me on the jet ski for you guys, but there were alot of other people there so I didn’t want to be super cheesy in front of strangers. haha  After playing in the water all day, we sat out on the pier, where their spot perfectly sits for the sunset.  Here’s Nick and I enjoying the sunset:

Nick and I Sunset Livingston 7-6-13

And me…after a long day on the lake.  Disclaimer – I look at these pictures and I don’t see “pretty”.  I know Nick and my mom are going to kill me for saying this but I’m putting it out there because I’m trying to remind everyone that we’re not perfect…some days are better than others.  I know that I’ve already started the most important thing for my transformation, but my mind still has some catching up to do.  I do pray that one day I look at myself in the mirror and say, WOW BRITT…YOU GO GIRL! haha

Me Livingston 7-6-13

I watched another episode of Extreme Weightloss.  Do you watch it?  WOW!  EVERY SINGLE episode gets me.  This week’s episode really got me though.  This girl grew up feeling unloved by her adopted mother, so instead of taking it out on the mom, she took it out on her ownself.  And the heavier she got, the uglier she felt and truly believed she was.  She kept saying she was worthless and why does she deserve the help.  That hit home for me because I often feel like that.  When I get down about how far I’ve let my body go, I think the same things…I’m disgusting, I’m worthless, I’m ugly, nobody wants to be my friend, friends and family are ashamed of me, etc.  Unfortunately, those thoughts are VERY real.  I wanted to reach through the TV and give her the biggest hug because she should have NEVER taken on that guilt of her unnurturing adopted mother.  She didn’t deserve the “abuse”.  And she didn’t deserve to take it out on her body and let herself go.  She IS worth it!  She does deserve to smile!  That just reminded me that…I need to keep telling MY OWN SELF that!  It’s always been a struggle for me to give myself positive affirmations.  My mom use to make me look in the mirror and tell myself I’m beautiful.  I HATED IT…felt like it was more of a punishment.  I truly did not believe I was beautiful.  My mom wasn’t and still isn’t perfect, but I look back at that and think…she was truly trying to mold the way I think about myself.  And for that…Thank you Mom.  I pray I learn from you and love my future daughter so much that she believes she’s beautiful and that I teach her how to love herself.  I do have to joke for a second though…my brother…he got ALL of the confidence. haha He LOVES taking pictures of himself and talking about his body. haha  I will admit..he IS gorgeous!  So Trey…give me some of that back, I need that confidence!

After all of this though…I can officially say I’m a 20 POUNDER!  Meaning…I have officially LOST 20 lbs.  I got on the scale this morning and man…it felt so good to see 172!  NOT, 192…inching to 200.  I admitted to Barb the other night though, that it’s hard for me to imagine myself another 20 lbs gone in the future because in the past, I’ve lost weight till about this point and then felt better…so I stopped eating better and exercising…only to find myself back in the 190’s, pushing 200 again.  But I told her that on purpose…so that she can continue to hold me accountable so that I won’t give up.  I’m not ready to give up though!  I’m looking forward to the day I can put a 2 piece bikini on and feel good about it.  Hey you skinny girls…do you ever feel GOOD in your bikini?  Proud of your body/hard work , if it takes any?  If not…I pray that I can alter my thinking before I get there, so that I can truly be proud of myself and love myself enough to say “You’re Beautiful.”

Weight Gain Does Not Have to Equal Shame

I feel like it’s been too long since I last blogged.  I might not eve have that many readers to begin with but when I blog, I feel like the whole world is reading. haha  Normally, an unpaid blogger, has all the excitement at first about blogging…sharing all the news with the world, feeling like they have this huge audience, but as time goes by, the excitement wears off and nobody is asking “are you still blogging?”, so you slowly go off the blogging world.  Well, I told myself that even if I’m writing this for me to read to myself, I’ll keep doing it.  I really do enjoy blogging about my journey to get fit.  But this week and last were hard to blog….about what has happened!

Here goes!

I first had to admit it to Barb and then I had to decompress.  I GAINED 2 lbs.  When I got on the scale and realized that, I was so upset.  I was mad, sad, disappointed, etc.  I couldn’t believe I had done that.  I felt like I had worked so hard and was only 2 lbs away from my 1st goal of 20 lbs lost.  However, the truth is, I had gotten a little relaxed on the weekends, not going crazy but I had been having a few Michelob Ultras here and there (it was 108 degrees here last Saturday…I needed to quinch my thirst lol) and I had been eating Chicken Fajitas with flour tortillas and tortilla chips and salsa at Gringo’s a handful of times (not in 1 day, over probably about a month).  So either it caught up to me, or I had alot of water weight.  Last Tuesday, Nick and I were given the opportunity to work a merchandise table for a favorite artist of mine, Bonnie Bishop.  It was totally spontaneous of us and as soon as I got home from work that day, I had to literally turn back around and head to the concert.  By the time we got there, we were A. Starving and B. My blood sugar had dropped BIG TIME.  I’m learning that if you’re eating every 2-3 hours (small, of course), that doesn’t leave room for your blood sugar to drop.  And when mine does drop…I want carbs and anything that’ll fill me up good.  Needless to say, I ate something fried.  I had not done that since I started this new lifestyle change…anything fried that is.  I’m not going to lie, it was so freaking good.  But it really showed on the scale the next day!  It took me a few days to tell Barb.  I was scared what she was going to say.  I was scared to disappoint her.  But I finally contacted her on Thursday and gave her the bad news.  But much to my surprise…she totally reversed my attitude and helped me to stop beating myself up.  So since last Thursday, I have been staying true to my workout regimin and am watching what I’m eating, even on the weekend.

This coming Saturday marks the goal date I had to have lost 20 lbs and to celebrate it on jet skis at my aunt’s lakehouse.  At this point, I’m not putting so much of an importance on the number and am waiting until Saturday morning to get on the scale.  If I hadn’t made the 20 lbs, I’m not going to lie, I will be a little disappointed because I have all these plans in place to celebrate THAT DAY.  However, no matter what, I’m still going to go celebrate…plans are made and I need to realize I’ve come a good ways so far.  I haven’t give up and I deserve a little excitement.

We’re having a few people over for tomorrow, 4th of July, and we bought turkey meat for those of us who want to have turkey burgers 🙂  We also have watermelon to snack on as well.  I’m sure we’ll eat a cookie or a few of the other snacks that others bring, but we’re not going to go crazy and will count that as our cheat meal.  What are your plans to stay healthy tomorrow? 

Happy Independence everyone!  Count your blessings.

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